Do you...

Ever wooooonderrrr....


Erm. Have you ever felt like, everything is just crashing around you but youre the only one who can see and feel it and everybody else thinks youre overreacting.

Mum feels like she losing me as far as I can gather but I feel like I lost her. Alex never speaks to me any more. I feel like im almost betraying mum and Alex by seeing Dad Candy Josh Matt and Danny. But I think Ive been made to feel like that.

And my gramma and grampa dont want to meet me. :(
They think im not Dads
because mum said so.
:\

Oh life, What HAPPENED to you.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FOR FUCKS SAKE WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME!??!!?!
What is with my FAMILY??
Liars, Cheats, Dysfunction, Psychos and its turning me into a mad person and I cant do this anymore its fucking killing me!!!!
I get told im fat, I get treated like im ten, wrapped in cotton wool so nothing will ever happen to me WELL like in the awesome film FINDING NEMO if nothing happens to me NOTHING WILL EVER HAPPEN TO ME.
LET ME BE ME!!!! FOR FUCKS SAKE STOP ITTT!!!
LEAVE ME ALOOOOONE!!!!
I hate myself.

Waiting...

Waiting on the world to change.

Well it has, and I made it change.
For the better might I add.

Sooo I havent posted in a few weeks. Basically....

Im still jobless.
Still Carless.
Still flatless - but living with Nannyy :)

Ive been to the doctors and gained weight and my cholesterol is too high.
I have more blood tests tomorrow.

Oh yes and Ive gained four brothers a stepmum and my Dads back :)
YES.
Its TRUE. :D
And how chuffed are you Aimee you say?
Very chuffed I say.
More than chuffed. :D
Hes lovely!!!!!!! Theyre ALL lovely!!!

So Mum isnt happy. I dont know what I can do to make her happy, shes crying all over the Gaff but lets be perfectly honest here and take a step back.

Yes, Robin was a "dad" to me for nearly eight years but he isnt MY Dad is he? People yo yo in and out of my life for years and years and I never even got the CHANCE to know my real Dad and now I do and Im happy, theyre really happy and mums the only one not happy about it.

It was GOING to happen no matter what, Im nearly twenty for fucks sake. No I dont want to live in Essex, I want to get a life, get a home of my own, a car, a job and I want to stick it here - Ive heard what Dad was like after she left with me and I do not intend on leaving.

Im standing my ground - I always have, its me. I wont go back on my word to my Daddy, and leave again. I cannot do that to him, or Candy, or Josh or Matt and Danny.
And I wont do it to myself.

But yeah. The last week has been Epic. :)
xxxxxxxx Much to report.
Will leave it for a bit.
Ceeb with html.